One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize