I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
