i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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