Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
There r osticjed everywhere
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
