a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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