carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
