i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
