Where is the hickey?
i just had sex bonerless
it's like iHOP with fire
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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