WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
