i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
