You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
