THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
