yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
