3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
