I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
