i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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