where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
