If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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