Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize