if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
