It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize