I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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