I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I just gargled with NyQuil
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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