I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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