I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
