I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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