Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
