i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
