The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
