im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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