i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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