So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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