If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
