it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
