i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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