i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
