I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Randomize
