The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
