Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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