john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Randomize