How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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