she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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