They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
