found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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