No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
It's shark week go big or go home
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
