lets start a swedish sibling band together
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
