after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
