so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I would ride that face into the sunset
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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