just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Say something about gay babies.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
