and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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