Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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