Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
