oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
