We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
