Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
