Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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