I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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