At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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