I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Randomize
