I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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