I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
